"The fearless man will never know true love" - me
Find me a truly fearless man and I shall show you a man whose life will be dull beyond belief. Because in life all that is needs opposition. Fear craves opposition - love. Thus for love to exist, so must fear. For it is in the darkest moments of our lives that we realize that we can truly love. These moments give us contrast to the joy and pleasure we feel when in love. You cannot love if you do not fear.
Maybe that is why we fight in relationships. For if we fight then fear, we love harder. The bliss is sweeter, the passion more serene. But too much fear heralds the loss of love, the destruction of desire. Conversely, the absence of fear leaves us adrift in the plains of grey, perfectly still, a droplet of water upon a flat surface. So love to your hearts content, yet embrace fear. Face it, conquer it, yet remember it. Invigorate your love
From a guy adrift in his world, utterly loveless, feeling fearless, hoping that everything he just wrote was wrong and that someday he finds happiness.
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3 comments:
Hmm well I guess I can contribute to this topic maybe using the examples of the two most recent of my relationships in direct contrast with each other.
A while ago I was with this guy and we fought pretty much every day. Mostly it was him picking stupid fights (and thats not just a biased opinion, ask anyone) and to be honest there was quite a lot of fear involved in that. For myself and for him. It got to the point where he threatened suicide because of something I said, or actually didnt say, which was truly one of the most frightening feelings I have experienced. These fights didn't in any way build our relationship. I thought that I loved him, and at the time I guess to some degree I did. But now when I think about it that was not a healthy and loving relationship and I am glad that I got out of it when I did. That one lasted 3 months.
However put that in contrast with me and Matt now. We have been together for 17 months to the day and we have not had one single fight (except physically, we beat each other up all the time). Sure, we've gotten annoyed at each other for various things, or debated, even argued over stuff. But we have honestly never fought to the degree where we were actually angry with each other (right matt?? or is that just me..)
And I think because of this (especially in context with the last relationship) it has lead me to love him all the more and trust him with my life. I don't think now that a fight could change that because what we've built up over these months is strong enough to work around anything but in the beginning if we had have had a fight it probably would have been enough to scare me away just to avoid the previous situation all over again.
I know that a lot of what I just said was based completely on my experiences which probably doesnt match with everyones cos they're 2 such extreme opposites but I think it is still the case.
Sure, fight away, but don't let the fights outweigh the good times. And don't ever fight just to build your relationship because that's not how it works.
I can see how sometimes fights can increase the passion. But only in moderation. And it's more than just passion that is needed in a relationship. There's also respect and understanding and tolerance and friendship and trust which inevitably will last longer and hold stronger than any passion.
everything em said i completely agree with.
mik's an arse.
however em i dont think luke was talking about fights in the sense of fighitng with someone. i think he meant fighting FOR someone, like not giving up or in to a problem within a relationship.
but i dont know. luke? care to clear it up?
love you jack and dw happiness you shall find, i am completely sure of it
love amo xoxo
my last two cents in relation to the last line - happiness comes through doors you didn't even realise you left open.
I personally hide from fear. when I feel afraid, particularly fear in love, it isn't pleasant, and doesn't really make the return of feeling-love much better. I just want it to not happen, or perhaps I should try to learn that the fear is okay to feel.
this is my interpretation, anyway.
i'm a person with a lot to give, a lot about me is very good, but i still have 'challenges'. i'm quite afraid of hearts not matching, that is a difference in feeling between two people. this goes from everything from family, to friends, to my significant other.
it's not that people don't give me every (or any) reason to keep carrying my insecurites.
i'm gradually letting them go.
but yes, what kind of fear is this discussing luke?
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